My Marriage: Shared with Dr. Tony Orji

How would you define marriage personally?

Marriage represents the joining of a man and a woman committed to fulfilling God’s intention through sacred wedlock. According to divine design, marriage serves to promote His objectives on Earth—to bear offspring and expand. This institution provides the appropriate setting for individuals to propagate and grow numerically.

Do you believe that love alone can ensure a long-lasting marriage?

Love is crucial for marriage, yet it isn’t the sole element required for a successful union. The Bible teaches that men ought to love their wives just as Christ cherishes the Church. Simultaneously, it instructs women to submit to their spouses. Thus, submission plays an integral role too. Mutual respect stands out as fundamental in marital relationships. Additionally, understanding holds significant importance. One might have feelings of affection without truly comprehending each other, which could result in conflicts. In essence, numerous components contribute to a thriving lifelong marriage. These include forgiveness, loyalty, transparency, and honesty.

When did you realize that your wife was the right person for you during your courtship?

We went to the same university and even shared classes together. Additionally, we participated in the same church group. From our initial meeting, I felt drawn to her. She appeared incredibly youthful and attractive, with strong spiritual values as well. Our relationship remained casual until my sophomore year when I received what I believed was divine guidance indicating she was destined to become my spouse. Naturally, I kept this realization to myself. At the time, there was quite an age gap between us since I had been involved in business ventures for five years prior to attending college, which allowed me to save up for education expenses. In contrast, she had recently completed high school and enrolled directly into university studies. It wasn’t until after she finished her master’s degree that I disclosed these thoughts regarding marriage to her.

What was her reaction?

She mentioned that she had to pray about it. After doing so, she received personal confirmation and conviction, and thus we embarked on our marital journey together.

Which qualities have assisted you in establishing a righteous marriage, considering your roles as both an academic and a preacher?

My primary focuses are godliness and excellence, which I’ve integrated into my marriage. I strive to adhere strictly to whatever guidance God offers regarding marital relationships. Additionally, achieving excellence remains important to me. This philosophy guides both my actions and beliefs.
To underscore just how deeply committed I am to this principle, I chose names for my children that reflect these values; my eldest son was named ‘Godly,’ followed by a daughter called ‘Excellence’ and another son named ‘Excellency.’ Thus, I hold these terms very dear.
Concerning what God advises concerning marriage, He encourages us to cherish our wives, ensure their well-being, support them financially, and safeguard them from harm. In all circumstances, even when addressing others who may be deceased, I refrain from criticizing my spouse publicly. Her every action is intended solely for my benefit—this fact should remain confidential between us. Therefore, do not present opportunities where someone could disparage her reputation or undermine her endeavors.

Before she even acts, I forgave her, which means I do not hold grudges against my spouse. Our relationship is built on trust. Since we were wedded, I haven’t engaged in any form of physical intimacy with another woman. We maintain honesty and transparency between us. Naturally, there’s shared collaboration as well. Both of us work within the same professional sphere: she is an economist just like me, thanks to divine providence. I earned a doctorate in economics, and so did she. This year marks my promotion to full professorship in economics, coinciding with her advancement to associate professor status. Thus, when one succeeds, both succeed together. With these elements combined, our marital bond thrives continually.

I too serve in the ministry of the gospel, and she actively works alongside me. When I go on trips, she has no trouble delivering sermons. Whether it’s her or my assistant pastor preaching, we both share this role. This harmonious setup was orchestrated by God Himself.

What’s the key to the chemistry between the two of you?

This is God speaking. We adhere to His will. Whatever He commands, we obey. According to Him, husbands ought to cherish their wives; thus, I hold dear to my wife. As per divine instruction, wives must be compliant; accordingly, my spouse readily submits to me. If she receives funds, she might inquire with me about managing her earnings, but ultimately, it’s her decision on how to use them.

She doesn’t exhibit arrogance common among those with a PhD; instead, she credits her godly upbringing by her parents who taught her divine values. She leads her life adhering to these principles instilled in her during her youth.

Could you provide some guidance for younger couples?

I recommend that young couples follow God’s will and collaborate closely. Marriage is a journey. While some believe marriage can be challenging, I disagree with this notion; it truly isn’t hard.

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